Five Diddles for Voice and Piano on Poems by Edward Lear

i.
Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
"Good gracious! how you hop!
"Over the fields and the water, too,
"As if you never would stop!
"My life is a bore in this nasty pond,
"And I long to go out in the world beyond!
"I wish I could hop like you!"
Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.

ii.
"Please give me a ride on your back!"
Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
"I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack,'
"The whole of the long day through!
"And we'd go to the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
"Over the land, and over the sea; --
"Please take me a ride! O do!"
Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.

iii.
Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
"This requires some little reflection;
"Perhaps on the whole it might bring me luck,
"And there seems but one objection,
"Which is, if you'll let speak so bold,
"Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
"And would probably give me the roo-
"Matiz!" said the Kangaroo.

iv.
Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,
"I have thought over that completely,
"And I bought four pairs of worsted socks
"Which fit my web-feet neatly.
"And to keep out the cold I've bought a cloak,
"And every day a cigar I'll smoke,
"All to follow my own dear true
"Love of a Kangaroo!"

v.
Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready!
"All on the moonlight pale;
"But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady!
"And quite at the end of my tail!"
So away they went with a hop and a bound,
And they hopped the whole world three times round;
And who so happy, -- O who,
As the Duck and the Kangaroo?

I
The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful [Pussy]1 you are, 
you are, 
you are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are."

II
Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl, 
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring [at]2 the end of his nose, 
his nose, 
his nose,
With a ring [at]1 the end of his nose.

III
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, 
the moon, 
the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Calico Pie,
The little birds fly
Down to the calico tree,
Their wings were blue,
And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
Till away they flew,--
And they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

Calico Jam,
The little Fish swam
Over the syllabub sea.
He took off his hat,
To the Sole and the Sprat,
And the Willeby-wat,--
But he never came back to me!
He never came back!
He never came back!
He never came back to me!

Calico Ban,
The little Mice ran,
To be ready in time for tea,
Flippity flup,
They drank it all up,
And danced in the cup,--
But they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

Calico Drum,
The grasshoppers come,
The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
Over the ground,
Around and round,
With a hop and a bound,--
But they never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

Said the Table to the Chair,
"You can hardly be aware,
"How I suffer from the heat,
"And from chilblains on my feet!
"If we took a little walk,
"We might have a little talk!
"Pray let us take the air!"
Said the Table to the Chair.

Said the Chair to the table,
"Now you know we are not able!
"How foolishly you talk,
"When you know we cannot walk!"
Said the Table with a sigh,
"It can do no harm to try,
"I've as many legs as you,
'Why can't we walk on two?"

So they both went slowly down,
And walked about the town
With a cheerful bumpy sound,
As they toddled round and round.
And everybody cried,
As they hastened to the side,
"See! the Table and the Chair
"Have come out to take the air!"

But in going down an alley,
To a castle in a valley,
They completely lost their way,
And wandered all the day,
Till, to see them safely back,
They paid a Ducky-quack,
And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
Who took them to their house.

Then they whispered to each other,
"O delightful little brother!
"What a lovely walk we've taken!
"Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!"
So the Ducky and the leetle
Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
Dined and danced upon their heads
Till they toddled to their beds.

I
O! My aged Uncle Arly!
Sitting on a heap of Barley
      Thro' the silent hours of night, --
Close beside a leafy thicket: --
On his nose there was a Cricket, --
In his hat a Railway-Ticket; --
      (But his shoes were far too tight.)

II
Long ago, in youth, he squander'd
All his goods away, and wander'd
      To the Tiniskoop-hills afar.
There on golden sunsets blazing,
Every morning found him gazing,--
Singing -- "Orb! you're quite amazing!
      How I wonder what you are!"

III
Like the ancient Medes and Persians,
Always by his own exertions
      He subsisted on those hills; --
Whiles, -- by teaching children spelling, --
Or at times by merely yelling, --
Or at intervals by selling
      "Propter's Nicodemus Pills."

IV
Later, in his morning rambles
He perceived the moving brambles --
      Something square and white disclose; --
"Twas a First-class Railway Ticket;
But, on stooping down to pick it
Off the ground, -- a pea-green Cricket
      settled on my uncle's Nose.

V
Never -- never more, -- Oh! never,
Did that Cricket leave him ever, --
      Dawn or evening, day or night; --
Clinging as a constant treasure, --
Chirping with a cheerious measure, --
Wholly to my uncle's pleasure
      (Though his shoes were far too tight.)

VI
So for three-and-forty winters,
Till his shoes were worn to splinters,
      All those hills he wander'd o'er, --
Sometimes silent; -- sometimes yelling; --
Till he came to Borley-Melling,
Near his old ancestral dwelling; --
      (But his shoes were far too tight.)

VII
On a little heap of Barley
Died my aged uncle Arly,
      And they buried him one night; --
Close beside the leafy thicket; --
There, -- his hat and Railway-Ticket; --
There, -- his ever-faithful Cricket; --
      (But his shoes were far too tight.)